Bill and Melinda Gates Are Officially Divorced

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Photo: Jeff Pachoud (Getty Images)

It lastly occurred. After 27 years, tens of millions of {dollars} and a couple of profitable e book offers between them, Bill and Melinda Gates finalized their divorce on Monday, marking the tip of one of the healthful energy {couples} of our time—or no less than, previously healthful. Ever for the reason that two introduced their impending break up final May, some fairly… icky tales about Bill began to bubble up, together with particulars on his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein and observe file of questionable behavior with girls beneath his make use of. Even the New York Post jumped within the fray (multiple times)! Needless to say, if this man’s going to get again into the courting scene, he’s going to wish a critical picture improve. Luckily, I’m right here to assist.

I’m not knowledgeable courting coach by any means, however I am knowledgeable at organising my straight dude buddies with my straight girl buddies. In the previous nation, I’d in all probability be referred to as a shadchanit, which loosely interprets to “someone who will edit your Tinder bio in exchange for a loose cigarette.”

He can in all probability afford cigs in spades, however I made a decision (within the spirit of philanthropy) to supply Bill some freebies to throw on the courting app profile he most undoubtedly has. Girls, he’s obtainable.

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